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Friday, April 22, 2011
Earth Day eGreeting - Survey - Online Pledge
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Communication Challenges
The more essential part of any personal development effort is to keepup the skill of communicating with others -be it in business dealings, family affairs, and for that matter any relationships. If you often find yourself misunderstanding others or experiencing difficulty in getting your point across clearly, what you say and what you don't say are equally important. Keep the following challenges in mind all the time while communicating with others.
Challenge One: Listen first and acknowledge what you hear, even if you don't agree with it, before expressing your experience or point of view. Acknowledging the feelings and wants that people express in word and mood. Actively acknowledging another person's experience does not have to mean that you agree or approve. Compassionately allow people to feel whatever they feel. People are much more likely to listen if they have been listened to with actively expressed acknowledgments. In order to get more of your conversation partner's attention in tense situations, pay attention first: listen and give a brief restatement of what you have heard (especially feelings) before you express your own needs or position. The kind of listening recommended here separates acknowledging from approving or agreeing.
Challenge Two: Explaining your conversational intent and inviting consent by using one of 30 basic conversational invitations such as, ``Right now I would like to take a few minutes and ask you about... [subject matter ].`` When would be a good time?" The exercise for this step will encourage you to expand your list of possible conversations and to practice starting a wide variety of them. The more involvement a conversation is going to require of the other person, the more you will benefit by sharing your conversational goal and inviting the conscious cooperation of your conversation partner.
Challenge Three: Expressing yourself more clearly and more completely - giving your listeners the information they need to understand (mentally reconstruct) your experiences more fully. One good way is to use ”the five I-statements”: What/how I (1)observe, (2)am feeling, (3) because I interpret/evaluate/need, and now I (4)want to request, and (5)envision/hope for from request.
Challenge Four: Translating your (and other people's) criticisms and complaints into requests & and explaining the positive results of having your request granted. Do this for both your own complaints and the complaints that others bring to you. Focusing on the positive outcome shows respect to the recipient of a request as having a positive contribution to make, and shifts focus from past mistakes to present and future successes.
Help your listeners comply by explaining your requests with a "so that...", "it would help me to... if you would..." or "in order to..." Also, when you are receiving criticism and complaints from others, translate and restate the complaints as action requests. ....").
Challenge Five: Asking questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively. For example "How did you like that movie?" is an open-ended question that invites a wide range of answers. "Did you like it?" suggests only "yes" or "no" as answers and does not encourage discussion. Sincerely asked open-ended questions can open up our conversation partners and allow for a wide range of responses. (How comfortable are you with this suggestion?)
Challenge Six:: Thanking & Expressing more gratitude, appreciation, encouragement and delight in everyday life. In a world full of problems, look for opportunities to give praise. Both at home & at work, it is the bond of appreciation that makes relationships strong enough to allow for problem-solving and differing needs. To build more satisfying relationships with the people around us, express more appreciation, delight, affirmation, encouragement and gratitude. Always remember healthy relationships need a core of mutual appreciation.
Challenge One: Listen first and acknowledge what you hear, even if you don't agree with it, before expressing your experience or point of view. Acknowledging the feelings and wants that people express in word and mood. Actively acknowledging another person's experience does not have to mean that you agree or approve. Compassionately allow people to feel whatever they feel. People are much more likely to listen if they have been listened to with actively expressed acknowledgments. In order to get more of your conversation partner's attention in tense situations, pay attention first: listen and give a brief restatement of what you have heard (especially feelings) before you express your own needs or position. The kind of listening recommended here separates acknowledging from approving or agreeing.
Challenge Two: Explaining your conversational intent and inviting consent by using one of 30 basic conversational invitations such as, ``Right now I would like to take a few minutes and ask you about... [subject matter ].`` When would be a good time?" The exercise for this step will encourage you to expand your list of possible conversations and to practice starting a wide variety of them. The more involvement a conversation is going to require of the other person, the more you will benefit by sharing your conversational goal and inviting the conscious cooperation of your conversation partner.
Challenge Three: Expressing yourself more clearly and more completely - giving your listeners the information they need to understand (mentally reconstruct) your experiences more fully. One good way is to use ”the five I-statements”: What/how I (1)observe, (2)am feeling, (3) because I interpret/evaluate/need, and now I (4)want to request, and (5)envision/hope for from request.
Challenge Four: Translating your (and other people's) criticisms and complaints into requests & and explaining the positive results of having your request granted. Do this for both your own complaints and the complaints that others bring to you. Focusing on the positive outcome shows respect to the recipient of a request as having a positive contribution to make, and shifts focus from past mistakes to present and future successes.
Help your listeners comply by explaining your requests with a "so that...", "it would help me to... if you would..." or "in order to..." Also, when you are receiving criticism and complaints from others, translate and restate the complaints as action requests. ....").
Challenge Five: Asking questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively. For example "How did you like that movie?" is an open-ended question that invites a wide range of answers. "Did you like it?" suggests only "yes" or "no" as answers and does not encourage discussion. Sincerely asked open-ended questions can open up our conversation partners and allow for a wide range of responses. (How comfortable are you with this suggestion?)
Challenge Six:: Thanking & Expressing more gratitude, appreciation, encouragement and delight in everyday life. In a world full of problems, look for opportunities to give praise. Both at home & at work, it is the bond of appreciation that makes relationships strong enough to allow for problem-solving and differing needs. To build more satisfying relationships with the people around us, express more appreciation, delight, affirmation, encouragement and gratitude. Always remember healthy relationships need a core of mutual appreciation.
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